Follow along with me on a little scenario.
Let’s say you have a friend, or maybe not so much a friend but someone you know. This someone hooks you up with all the sugar you could want. Candy, pop rocks, marshmallows, a selection beyond your imagination. Just ask and it’s there. AND it’s free! Too good to be true. You know that too much sugar isn’t good for you but a little here and there isn’t that bad. And when it’s free, well, that’s pretty...sweet.
You go on about your life hitting him up every couple days for your sugar fix. Sampling new candies and trying a new confections as you explore your interests. Some of the things you thought you’d like turn out to be not so good and other things really trigger that sweet tooth! First it starts out as a strictly after-supper-treat. As time goes on and life hits hard you convince yourself that a couple times a day won’t hurt anything. It’s just candy. And it’s not hurting your bank account. Everyone eats it. It gives you a good feeling, maybe a boost of energy and you’re not hurting anyone else. You’re in control. You’re an adult! You can have some jelly beans for breakfast!
After awhile, you start to notice that regular food just doesn’t have the same kind of satisfaction. Things don’t quite taste right. Your sugar guy says if you pay him a little here and there he can get you the really good stuff. He says it’ll fill ya right up. It will give you everything you need. Ok, sounds good. Sign me up. $20 a month and you’ll get access to some of the highest quality sugar, raw sugar, pure sugar, exotic sugar, and even the stuff that is prohibited in some parts of the world. Pretty good deal. And he promised it would satisfy your needs.
You’re a pretty decent and respectable person. What you eat on your own time doesn’t have any effect on anyone else and is certainly none of their business. Truth is, you’re pretty well liked by your peers and respected at your job. You generally have high standards and decent morals. You hate injustice and you’re against anyone getting taken advantage of. You’re an all around “good person”. You know you have a sugar vice but that’s no big deal. It’s not hurting anyone.
That’s a lot like porn. Oh! Now it gets uncomfortable. Don’t stop reading! For some, the word ‘porn’ sends shivers through the body in disgust. For others it’s just “adult entertainment.” For me, I didn’t like the word but I did like the content.
I used to consume porn almost every day. I knew that too much wasn’t good for me but I was an adult and I have self control [I thought] but also some needs. PornHub was my “sugar guy”. I could get pretty much anything I wanted and could explore curiosities as much as I pleased.
And it was all free!
I started to notice that normal relationship and intimacy with my wife wasn’t as satisfying as it once was. She wasn’t as interested either because I was emotionally absent. Not a problem, The girls on PornHub never said ‘no.’
Some of you reading are feeling really uncomfortable right now. Thank you for continuing to read. It’s good that you’re uncomfortable. Your discomfort is healthy but my guess is that you don’t know the true depths of discomfort.
You see, I was first exposed to pornography around 8 years old. It was hidden in the closet and I knew I wasn’t supposed to see it. That made it a lot more exciting. As I grew older, I discovered ways to get it myself. And it wasn’t long after we got a computer and the internet that I found out how easy it was.
We’re told that it’s just another form of entertainment. Just another art form. Just as natural and normal as any other human interaction. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Christian or an atheist, this idea of pornography as an expression of art or an exercise of self expression is one of the greatest lies that has ever been sold.
The porn industry is selling you a counterfeit intimacy. I used to consume porn and it made me feel good, but there was no substance behind it. Men and women were created for relationship. There is no relationship in porn. There is no true intimacy in watching others have sex. Peddling intimacy to consumers is just another form of prostitution.
There’s another touchy word. Prostitution. Even when I was addicted to porn I didn’t like the idea of prostitution, or even the word. Adult entertainment is full of prostitution. The whole industry is built on it. “Take off your clothes, do what the “director” tells you, and you’ll get paid.” But it’s even more sinister than that!
The porn industry has a much darker side that they don’t really hide but most people conveniently ignore because “I’m only looking for a little fix right now.” We’ve been hearing a lot about sex trafficking lately. From Jeffery Epstein, to Allison Mack of Smallville and the NXIVM cult, the news has been littered with rescues of victims as well as the arrests and trials of the accused traffickers.
If sex trafficking doesn’t bother you enough PornHub takes it further with enabling and profiting from child sex trafficking and abuse. The Internet Watch Foundation reports that there are over one hundred cases of children being sexually abused on PornHub. Videos that have been uploaded are left for days while being monetized with ads as the view count goes up. It doesn’t matter if your a Christian or an Atheist, this should turn your stomach.
PornHub makes their profits off of the abuse of women and men. And more often than you care to allow yourself to believe it is a child. Someone’s son and someone’s daughter are being subjected to sexual abuse for another person’s private entertainment. Consider how porn is marketed. “Petite teens in school girl clothes and braces.” They are made to look underage. The porn industry is slowly desensitizing it’s consumers to normalize child molestation.
These women are being manipulated into giving up their most precious possession, sexual intimacy, for the world to see and some of them make a little money off of it.
I can tell you from my personal experience that there is absolutely no benefit to consuming pornography. I was addicted for 22 years. I got hooked at 8 years old. It will damage your ability to connect in relationships. It creates unrealistic expectations in your intimate relationships leaving you unsatisfied with your significant other because they can’t perform like those girls on PornHub. You will find yourself isolated from your closest and most important relationships. Emotionally, you will become cold and indifferent to true affection. After it has damaged your relational and emotional relationships, porn will pull you into depression. Because you have pushed all of your relationships away, you will find yourself alone and rejected, but the girls on those sites never say no. You’ll get your quick fix and another little bit of your soul will be lost to the fantasy world, pushing your further into depression which you will self-medicate with more porn. It’s a death spiral.
Porn convinced me that my wife was not enough. Porn caused me to neglect being a father to my sons. Porn brought me to a dark place of worthlessness and then lied to me saying I was always welcomed and accepted on these sites. These girls will never say no. But they also never said yes.
Porn is a liar. Porn is a destroyer. Porn tears families apart. It tears men and women to pieces from the inside out. Porn stars and porn consumers are being made into profit sources in their brokenness by the Porn industry.
You’re not empowering women by supporting “sex workers.” You’re telling her that her worth is based on superficial aesthetics and her income is dependent on her submission to her pimp or “manager” or client.
Woman, you are worth so much more than your body. You have been created with a purpose far greater and more important than any piece of film bearing your dignity. Refuse to be defined by your looks and insist to be defined by your heart and soul.
Men and women, you are never too far gone. It’s never too late to turn around and be free from the slavery of porn. Run away from that life now! There is hope and a new life beyond porn. Jesus Christ came to the prostitutes and sinners of the world and called them out of lesser lives into the greatest gift of living for Him. He said to the woman guilty of prostitution,
“Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
-John 8
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