When Amanda and I got married we didn’t really have a place to live. Before we got married, I lived with my dad in a one-bedroom apartment – not an option! Fortunately, some friends of ours allowed us to live in their home until we got something sorted out. After a couple months we were able to afford a small one-bedroom apartment. We shared our very first Christmas together in our own apartment. I worked at Starbucks at the time and had acquired a Starbucks Christmas tree that was used to decorate the store the year before. It was maybe three feet tall. It was free so it was perfect as we were not very wealthy with my single income from Starbucks.
Those were our simple beginnings as a couple. Just the two of us. It was delightful. We had agreed that we wanted to spend a couple years married with just the two of us. AND we needed Amanda to get her permanent residency so she could get health insurance! (She’s from Canada.)
There came a time when we both started to desire to move to the next phase of our lives together and start a family. I had one condition before we started a family. I wanted us to own a home before we had any kids. My parents were divorced, and they both rented. While both of my parents never failed to provide a safe and comfortable home, we did move a few times. I had determined that we were going to have a place to our own before we started having children.
It didn’t take very long before we saved some money, found our new home and moved in. We bought a house, then got a dog, and then bought a car together (all within a few months…I do not recommend putting all those things so close together!) Now I felt we were in a good position to begin our family.
Little did we know that we were in for a difficult time.
Infertility is one of those often unexpected, unwelcomed, devils that has a way of causing some really difficult feelings to well up. We found ourselves in the silent, isolated population of couples who would, month after month, find ourselves disappointed and saddened with each negative result. While there are many couples who have tried much longer and with much more difficulty, we still struggled…and it was hard. We decided to get some professional assistance. Amanda was prescribed a fertility medication and after a few months we finally had the result we were hoping for. We were pregnant. (I will admit “We” were pregnant is weird to say. I was not pregnant. I never grew a human inside my body, I never felt the aches and pains. I was not pregnant; my super-hero wife was the one who was pregnant.)
We decided that we didn’t want to find out what we were having. We knew it was going to be a human and we knew it was a gift from God. It was incredibly difficult to keep it a secret for the customary 12 weeks. In fact, I let it slip in a comment on a Facebook post of a friend of ours who was also having a child. That caused a mad dash to make it “Facebook Official” before Joe responded.
Then one morning, it was time for us to go to the hospital. The baby was ready to come. We got admitted into our luxurious labor and delivery room while women were howling through labor around us. I’m not gonna lie, while birth is absolutely an amazing and beautiful miracle, labor and delivery, from a guy’s perspective is certainly a crazy experience. I don’t get weirded out by much, but its wild listening to the chorus of “UGHHH! (breathe) hoo, hoo, hoo, UGHHH! (breathe) hoo, hoo, hoo, UGHHH! *tiny baby cry*” “Good job momma!” over and over and over.
-Side Note PSA- For those who want to have a family someday, Both Amanda and I strongly recommend not finding out the sex of the child beforehand. It is one of the most beautiful surprises that you can still have. I promise you will have plenty of clothes and necessities. You will never be without. And fathers, there is no greater joy that to have the responsibility of declaring the identity of your child to your wife. I will never forget proclaiming “We have a SON!” to my wife. What an honor and privilege it is to speak that to her…both times!
The birth of a child is a thrilling experience. Especially when its been a difficult road to get to that point! I can only imagine what it would have been like to be Mary, the woman chosen by God to deliver a King.
“And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” -Luke 1:31-33
After overcoming the shock and awe of the Angel Gabriel bringing the news, Mary trusted the Lord and was expectant and I might add, excited, from that day forward. Mary, unexpectedly pregnant would not only be pregnant with child, but pregnant with hope. But now she’s gotta tell her fiancé that she’s pregnant, but she’s never been with another man. Joseph, I imagine, isn’t pleased at all but he wasn’t a cruel man. By law he could have had her killed. But instead he determined to just let go and sort it all out herself. But god already had it sorted out:
“Behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” – Matthew 1:20-23
Immanuel means ‘God with us’. I wonder if Mary was extra aware of that. I wonder if she knew this baby as ‘God with me.’
///Fast forward/// On the day Jesus was to be born, the shepherds received a message from a host of angels:
“The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” – Luke 2:10-15
The shepherds who had just received a message from heaven made haste to verify what they had just heard about.
What if the shepherds weren’t just simply curious about the news, but they were given that news because they needed to hear it? They didn’t just receive the news with a “woah that’s pretty cool.” They heard a message that was full of hope. I don’t think they heard a message for the masses, I believe they heard a message that was valuable to their own hearts.
I love how this moment in history continues:
“So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. – Luke 2:16-20
The thing that sticks out to me is “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” She had already received her own visitation from the Angel Gabriel. She knew who her son was. She knew the promise. But she got more good news from the shepherds and she treasured it.
I don’t think Mary was ever NOT pregnant with Jesus. I would suggest that even after Jesus was physically born, she was still pregnant with the Gospel. She knew who He was. I think she continued to live pregnant with hope in her Savior.
What if Mary lived the rest of her life in expectancy of the Lord? Look at what happens later in Jesus life. In the Gospel of John chapter 2, Jesus had already been baptized by John the Baptist and the Father said from heaven, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Jesus had already gone into the desert to be tempted (and he didn’t cheat!). Now we find him at a wedding in Cana with his disciples and his mother. The wedding planner didn’t plan well, and the hosts ran out of wine for the guests. Mary knew what to do.
“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”
His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” -John 2:1-5
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